J Roddy

The men of 1100 N. Greensboro had our collective faces rocked off last week by none other than J Roddy Walston and the Business. I am very hesitant to put a show at the top of my list, but this was the best I have ever seen. That spot had been held for nearly three years by Kasabian on their first US tour. This show kicked every other show's ass. And mine. Starting from the second I walked in the door, it was a great night. I am not 21 yet, so when we walked in at the same time as J Rod and Steve the Drummer, I begged Steve to talk to the doorman. He was more than willing, and while it wasn't necessary, being good guys will never hurt you in my book. After a fair to good set by the WhaleWatchers (who could stand to lose a guitarist, but not the bassist's corncob pipe), J Roddy played the most electric set I have ever seen. There were less than 100 people there, but there was as much energy as any show I have been at with thousands.

In other news, my two other college football teams had fairly good weekends. Pitt beat WVU in the Backyard Brawl, which was satisfactory, and Hawaii made a very nice comeback to beat Washington early Sunday morning. And finish undefeated.

Then the final BCS standings came out, and they weren't playing for a championship. This is ludicrous. Hawaii has done everything their schedule has asked them to do. They are the only team without a loss in 2007. They have won a Colorado Rockies-like 22 of 23 since stumbling out of the gates last year. They have beaten every team put before them. Norris argues that they didn't play anybody. The truth is that nobody would play them. If my facts are straight, Michigan St. and USC pulled out of games with Hawaii. Because they were scared. And the schedule argument goes out the window this year. Michigan went into the final month of the season with BCS hopes after that debacle with App.

The first week in January is supposed to separate the cream of the crop. Instead, we leave out Missouri, whose only losses are to one of the best teams in the nation. In their place, we get Illinois, Kansas, and Georgia. That's right -- numbers 3, 8, and 13 in the polls, and two of them couldn't even win their division. I understand that they aren't playing for the national championship game, but that's because we know they aren't the best around. We don't know that for sure about Hawaii.

College football is the only place where this is acceptable. Nobody went to the Chicago Cubs this year and said 'You only finished 4 games above .500 this year even though you got to play half of your schedule against teams under .500.'

When a playoff is suggested, one of the rebuttals is that the regular season is like a 13 week playoff. The people suggesting this are often BCS backers, but for some reason they fail to see that the only team that has emerged unscathed from their prolonged playoff is the Warriors of Hawaii. And come on, wouldn't it be a lot more fun to argue for the next month about whether or not Hawaii can do it against big bad Ohio St. than to break down some match-up everybody outside of Ohio and Louisiana will forget about by Groundhog's Day? Isn't that what college football needs?

Hey New England,

Fuck you.

Lots of exams and stuff the next two weeks, and I'm stupid busy. Blogging will commence shortly thereafter.

-nono

There are nights when I think Sal Paradise was right...

Since Russ is the Pittsburgh guy, I'll hold off commenting on that abomination of a football game that was the Monday Night Rain Bowl, but let's just say I called it in the previous post. Just watched the OSU/UNC bball game, which was somehow the headliner for the ACC/Big Ten challenge this year. A few thoughts from the game and general comments on life:

-UNC is not even close to the same without Ty Lawson in there running the show. I like Frasor and QT, but they just can't come close to pushing the tempo the same way. Between our lack of a transition game and OSU's choice to pack it in with a zone defense all game, the game itself really wasn't all that exciting.

-Bobby Frasor has a lot of work to do if he wants to get minutes once Lawson is healthy. I like the way he runs the offense, and he always looks cool and collected out there, but his individual skills just aren't that great. First off, he needs to improve his lateral quickness (think Wes Miller's improvement from '05 to '06) - there were far too many times when he got torched off the dribble in this game. Granted, he was guarding Jamar Butler, one of the better guards in the country, but a little improvement in quickness wouldn't hurt anyone. His passing is VERY hit or miss - it's either a sick pass that makes everyone go OHHHHH or it just goes right off the defender's foot. Also, his jump shot needs to start falling - he wasn't hitting early and he seemed reluctant to pull the trigger as the game went on. I criticize you because I love ya, Bobby.

-QT has impressed me when he's been in there. I have this strange feeling he's going to bail us out in some late-season ACC game with a big shot or two. Keep up the hard work, you'll get yours.

-Psycho T forced it a bit tonight, but he'll be alright. The zone was messing with him a bit I think, and Hunter is definitely no slouch on the defensive end.

-Why do we ALWAYS get torched by the obnoxious white guys? Tonight's offender? Freshman guard Jon Diebler. How did this guy not go to Duke? He had it all - the annoying mannerisms, smug look on his face, a knack for banking in 3's with perfect D in his face... whatever, he went cold in the 2nd half.

This guy WOULD torch us

-Ohio State will be one of those teams that will be perpetually ranked like #25 all year and lose in the second round of the NCAA's (think Alabama every single year). Sometimes you can just see it coming.

-Thoughts out to Sean Taylor's family and friends, certainly a tragic thing. A small story about this, though, as I think it's relevant. I seem to have a knack for saying wildly inappropriate things that always come back to bite me in the ass. Example #1: I'm watching Road House with some of my friends (always a good decision!), and they're showing the Jeff Healey band (if you haven't seen the movie, they're the house band for Patrick Swayze's bar). Now, Jeff Healey wears some sweet shades and tends to move his head around a lot while he plays guitar, so I made the comment that he "plays guitar like Stevie Wonder." Turns out he's blind, which I obviously didn't know. Motherfucker. Anyway, fast forward a bit to a few months ago. My friend Geoff goes to Miami, so he was telling me about this franchise he made on Madden that was based around all Miami players. For some reason there was a glitch in the game, and Sean Taylor was completely erased from his franchise mode. Now, I don't remember this, but apparently I said something to the effect of "he probably went and did something stupid like get shot!" When all the stuff went down a few days ago, Geoff called to remind me of this. Great, I'm a dick.

I swear I didn't know he was blind!
-Made this for dinner tonight. Now, we all know Tyler Florence is a pretty big douche (Applebee's? Seriously?), but that dude can put together a recipe. This shit was delicious.

-NC State got thumped by Michigan State tonight. Remember when Gavin Grant said they'd only lose four games all year? Halfway there, buddy. Look, I have nothing against NC State and I hope they do well so we can get a decent rivalry going, but when someone says something so outlandishly stupid as that they deserve to get called out.

-NoNo

Rock Band, and the latest Carr crash

I was witness to perhaps the worst NFL game in recent history today (with the exception, perhaps, of anything involving this year's Miami Dolphins) - a riveting Week 12 matchup between the Saints and the Panthers. The final score was 31-6 in favor of New Orleans, but it honestly wasn't even that close. David Carr made the 27th-ranked Saints defense look like the fucking '85 Bears, our defensive line is still MIA, and our special teams continue to play as if they are, well, "special." More on this later, however, as it tends to depress me a little bit and there are more awesome things to discuss.

Recently, we here at the Welker house have been watching a lot of Vh1 Classic. In case you've been living under a rock for the past few years, it's basically just an odd collection of old rock and roll music videos - think along the lines of what regular Vh1 was about ten years ago. It's great stuff to have on in the background, and provides the perfect mix between legitimately kick-ass rock performances and great things to make fun of. Either way, it's 100% entertaining. Along these lines, I now present you a mini-countdown of video's we've recently watched that blew us away with their amazing rockitude. To be completely arbitrary, here's a top 4:

4. Van Halen - Panama

Yeah, the Superbad song. This video definitely belongs in the "we're making fun of it" category, and I'm well aware that these guys weren't legitimately any good, but god damnit, they fucking rocked. Some of the awesome things in this video include half the band members being suspended on ridiculously cool wires (and still managing to play their instruments!), David Lee Roth being arrested in a towel, Michael Anthony playing a sweet Jack Daniel's bass, and Eddie Van Halen's perm. This may be the ultimate song to play air guitar to when absolutely hammered.

3. Deep Purple - Highway Star

Let's be honest, this song rocks regardless of context, but this particular version has a few extra things going for it. First of all, check out the production value of the video. This had to be one of the first music videos ever made, and it really shows. The band just sorta plays in front of a green screen, and some i-movie level psychadelic effects play in the background. The whole thing turns out like a high school band's audition tape, and that's precisely why it's great. Second of all, they absolutely butcher this song. Ian Gillan looks high as hell during this whole thing and even forgets some of the lyrics ("Oooh like Steve McQueen... Mickey Mouse and all that uhhhWOOO"). Richie Blackmore also bloody destroys a guitar solo while wearing a Pilgrim suit, so it has that going for it.

2. Focus - Hocus Pocus

Ah, the humble beginnings of prog rock. There are no actual lyrics to this song as far as I can tell, but that doesn't prevent it from being relentless as hell. Thijs van Leer (yes, I had to look up how to spell that), plays organ, flute, whistles, and yodels, and somehow makes it look cool. All the while, the band is playing impossibly fast in the background, and it occasionally comes together in spastic bursts of awesomeness. I have no idea what kind of drugs these guys were on, but dare I say it might even put Keith Richards to shame.

1. Ten Years After - I'm Going Home

This is one of my favorite rock performances of all time, and if you watch the video you'll see why. I'll let the video speak for itself.

All this rocking had gone to my head for a bit, so it was perfect timing when I got into Charlotte and my buddy Geoff called me to play Rock Band, which is destined to become the next fad among college kids. It's from the same people who made Guitar Hero I and II, and is very similar in theory to these games except that it also implements a full drum set, vocals, and bass. Needless to say it's amazing, and I somehow played for about 6 hours straight. I discovered that I apparently have no pitch whatsoever (I couldn't do the vocal parts worth a hoot), and it is very hard to coordinate the kick-pedal on the drum set with whatever the hell your arms are doing. After a while you start to get used to it, but there's a bit of a learning curve. It's a great game though, and I can only hope that someone around here ponies up some cash for it (hint hint!).

Which brings me back to how much the Panthers suck. I don't really want to dwell on it, because as I said it's only going to make me angry. A few quick points though:

-It was cold, rainy, and the Panthers were getting demoralized. I can think of only a handful of times I've ever left a game early under any circumstances, but this was one of them. It's pretty hard to fathom a team that was at one point 4-3 and in first place in the division being this bad, but they've apparently completely rolled over. It's a sad thing to watch, and this organization needs some new blood badly. Don't ask me where to start, but drastic things need to happen.

-The loudest the fans got all day was a "We Want Moore" chant. Folks, if it's come to the point where we're cheering for an undrafted rookie QB from Oregon State to come in the game to bring us back, things are pretty bad. That said, it really can't be any worse than David Carr, who is legitimately perhaps the worst NFL quarterback I've ever seen. He regresses every week.

-Richard Marshall and Jon Beason continue to be the stars of this defense. Coincidentally, they're both under 25 years old. If we don't sign them to monster extensions at the first possible opportunity, I've lost all faith in this front office.

-I hate Chris Gamble as much as the next guy, but my god his replacement today (someone named Patrick Dendy) was horrible. It's a shame he's awful, because his name has such fantastic potential for football puns, which happen to be one of my favorite pasttimes.

-You have to give John Fox some credit - he actually tried to get Steve Smith the ball early, and had some imaginative playcalls thrown in there. It's a shame our team just can't execute worth a hoot.

-If we ever go with the empty backfield again when David Carr is in the game, I'm going postal.

That's it for now folks. Me and Russell's new favorite band nobody's ever heard of, J-Roddy Walston and the Business, are playing on Thursday over in Raleigh. If you can make it, come join. They'll rock your face off.

-NoNo

Bobcats - Wizards, the Pinnacle of my Fanhood

As I sit here digesting about three plates of food and a few more beers, I'm going to relive some moments from the best game I've ever attended - a November NBA game between the Wizards and the Bobcats where Gilbert Arenas was out with an injury!

-It was actually a great game. The Bobcats lost it in OT, 114-111.

-Raymond Felton took over the game in the 4th quarter and OT for the Bobcats. His ability to get penentration (...heheh) is really uncanny, and he really takes it to the hole hard (...heheh.. what?). He's definitely the go-to guy on this team when the game is on the line, and I believe he'll be an all-star in this league a few times when it's all said and done.

-At tip-off there were MAYBE 6,000 people there. It's gonna take a while for Charlotte to be an NBA city again after the whole Hornets fiasco, but dude, we can do better than 6,000. That said, the crowd was actually somewhat into it at the end there, everyone around me seemed pretty knowledgeable. I guess that's inevitable in North Carolina, which truly is a basketball hotbed. I believe that the Bobcats really are making all the right moves as far as making this thing work - they've come into a shitty situation and really are trying to make the best of it. For the most part, the games are affordable (for the nosebleeds anyway), fun, and very very family friendly. Eventually if they just keep this up and the team starts to win some games, they'll get their support.

-We had club seats, and I didn't have to pay for them! Hooray full bar!

-That said, $7.25 for a Bud Light. Fucking communists.

-The Bobcats P.A. announcer is absolutely hilarious. He tries to get everyone fired up ("LETS GO CATS!!" "DEEEE-FENSE!"), but everyone in the stands sorta knows it's lame, so they kinda ignore it. It's actually pretty awkward.

-The Bobcat's intro video is a montage showing Primoz Brezec, Walter Hermann, and the crew making hustle plays, with words built in like TEAMWORK!!! INSPIRATION!!! HARD WORK!!! DEDICATION!!!, etc. This really made for some great running jokes during the night, like when Ryan Hollins would brick a 5 footer and someone in our section would yell "TEAMWORK!! FUNDAMENTALS!! IT'S BOBCATS BASKETBALL!!"

-The halftime show was people dressed up like turkeys and pilgrims getting slingshotted on a little rolly cart thing into 10-foot tall bowling pins. It was the greatest thing I've ever seen. I love this country.

-The mascot is named Rufus Lynx, which I totally thought was retarded and lame until I realized that the genus and species for the bobcat is actually "lynx rufus" (thanks Wikipedia!). Now I just think it's even more retarded and lame.

Well done Rufus Lynx, well done.

-Play of the night was when the Wizards had a fast break and Gerald Wallace came out of nowhere to get a monster block. Now it was 100% goaltending, but I'm convinced the refs didn't call it because it was also 100% sweet. We then pushed it up the court and Matt Carroll drained a 3. Wallace went down REAL hard on the play and was on the ground for a while. I was convinced he was out for the year, but he actually came back in the second half after suffering a "minor rib contusion." Don't ask me what the fuck that means, but it sounds painful.

-Without Arenas, the Wiz are leaning reeeally heavily on Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison. Butler had 39 and nobody could even hope to stop him. He's good at basketball. That said, the Wiz have no legit big man and if they're lucky enough to make the playoffs, they won't win a game.

-My buddy Pat and I were convinced the guy on the end of the Wizard's bench was Chris Duhon, but it turns out it was actually just the Bobcats towel guy. Damn.

-Jeff McInnis is definitely the annoying guy on the team that nobody wants to talk to. It's funny watching these guys interact in the huddle, because McInnis just walks up and starts talking like crazy, only for most players to just completely ignore him. The only guy who responds is Matt Carroll, who kinda looks like he needs friends.

-The giant turkey at halftime looked like Primoz Brezec. ("That's more of the court than he's seen all night!")

-That's all for now, folks. Hope everyone enjoys their leftovers tomorrow.

-NoNo

Greg Paulus is a douche, but we already knew that.

I've figured it out. As everyone who watches sports with me on a regular basis knows, I really like comparing athletes to relatively famous folks (Honestly, the Ray Felton - Tupac jokes aren't even funny anymore, and never really were in the first place, but damnit, he looks like Pac.), and I've finally got one for Greg Paulus. Ladies and gentlemen, without any further ado, I give you... the asshole guy from Wedding Crashers, Sack Lodge!

Obviously Greg Paulus is a bit more of a douche than the other guy, but I could totally see Paulus imitating a crying baby seal in a Duke huddle, or getting way too competitive at the annual Paulus crabcake and football blowout. And I bet he drinks daiquiris. Eh, maybe it's just me, but it makes Duke games a bit more entertaining if they all have alter egos. Duke managed to suck less than a pretty bad Illinois team tonight, so they got a victory, but there was also a pretty good MSU/UCLA game over on the deuce. Some notes from watching these two games...

-Duke freshman Kyle Singler really impressed me. He's got great range out to the three point line and loves to employ that Dirk-esque drop step. If he puts on a few pounds he'll be a good one and the next in the line of Duke players that I would enjoy punching in the face. Also, it's not often that I endorse tanning beds, but Christ, Kyle, get outside once in a while, you look like an extra from Fargo. Or Jake Busey from Contact:

JESUS CHRIST HIDE THE KIDS IT'S KYLE SINGLER!

-You can tell how much ESPN loves a basketball player based on the amount of useless closeups they have of the player walking slowly up the court when they are not involved in a play. The latest king of this? Kevin Love. Can't this guy hurry up and go pro so Atlanta can draft him? I'm sick of this him already.

-I will say, though, that Love has the best offensive rebounding instincts and footwork I've seen in a while - he might set all kinds of records.

-The girl next to K-Love's dad in the stands - sister or girlfriend? If it's his girlfriend, he can do better. If it's his sister, eh, borderline hot.

-Why did Kansas City build a brand new, gigantic, extremely nice basketball arena? Don't most cities have some sort of, you know, basketball team before that happens? I checked it the Wikipedia article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sprint_center), and the biggest thing they have coming is the Trans-Siberian orchesta. I bet the taxpayers there fucking love that.

-Doris Burke is like the Keary Colbert of sideline reporters - it's just not clear to me why she still has a job. She doesn't have Erin Andrews' looks, Suzy Kolber's knowledge, or even Michelle Tafoya's inexplicable ability to somehow resonate with upper-middle class housewives. Either get some big-boobed blonde bimbo who just graduated with a communications degree, or get some washed up former player to do this job (Luke Schenscher would be perfect for this - he's 7 foot 1, Australian, and looks like Ronald Mcdonald!)

Schenscher > Burke

-Drew Neitzel shot MSU out of the game. Don't take a fadeaway 26 footer with Lorenzo Mata in your face and a minute to go, take him to the hole. Gah.

-Speaking of Mata, at some point in the offseason he changed his name to Lorenzo Mata-Real. Not sure why this is noteworthy, but he is the greatest player to ever grace the court.

Keepin' it Real. Mata-Real.

-Tom Izzo continues to be a fantastic coach year in and year out without really getting the respect of a Coach K or Roy Williams. He has a team built around a 5 foot 10 point guard who can't do anything except shoot, three freshmen play legitimate minutes, and they have a revolving door of crappy white big men in the post, and they're still a top ten team who led the number one team in the nation for 39 minutes. Nice.

-Once Darren Collison comes back, UCLA is gonna be real good. On a side note, I was flipping through the channels when a good friend of mine saw Darren Collison on the sidelines and freaked out a bit - "HOLY CRAP IT'S DARREN!" Turns out she was in his third grade class and knew him since they were little, but she forgot he was a basketball player. Huh.

-Gardocki of the day: Michael Jordan's son Jeff plays for Illinois and sucks! Also, did you know Drew Neitzel had a stomach flu?!

-lol nc state.

-NoNo

Sorry about the layoff

R.I.P -- Jiri Tsluty's Career

We took a few days off. I know -- we weren't even a week in and we couldn't make a post for 3 days, we're big jerks. I'm sorry. NoNo also volunteers himself for whatever punishment you deem necessary.

It's just that this week couldn't have been any shittier sports-wise. Did you know that Barry Bonds got indicted? Did you know that A-Fraud agreed to the outline of a new contract? Did you know that OJ Simpson got indicted? Jesus Christ already ESPN. 3 hours dedicated to 1/600 of the players in MLB. Everybody out west
wonders why there is an East-Coast bias -- this is what happens when ESPN has Thursday night games in Arizona and there is nothing to show until 9:00 at night.

Starbury is back on the bench after Isiah was able to destroy whatever evidence Stephon had against him. I'm guessing that he had pictures of Thomas and Jiri Tslusty together from Jiri's 16th birthday party at Michael Jackson's house. I really gotta say I love the blackmail. This is at least the second instance this fall that has taken sports back about 50 years. The other was the report that JP Losman was on the bench for a few games early in the year because Ralph Wilson wouldn't be able to pay him if he reached the incentives in his contract. These days, I thought sports were pretty stable in general, even if there were a few whackos. I think it is slowly being proven that there are few normal people in sports, and those that are don't stick around in high profile positions for very long.

Well, party at our house tonight...stop by if you want. NoNo and I will be reading from Wurthering Heights. We might even invite you into the special room. I'm serious. R

Bar Trivia Rules, and so does UCLA

Ah, bar trivia. Tonight, team "Naughty by Nature" - that'd be myself, Robert, and two other indispensable team members - was crowned trivia champions at one of the local dive bars. The prize? A 50 dollar bar tab. Come hang out with us, we have bar dollars.

The questions that put us over the top, you ask?

-What country is the leading exporter of olives? That would be Spain, not Greece. Hooray.

-What national chain store was the location of Shia Lebouf's recent arrest? Walgreen's.

We somehow got both of these right. Ah, the benefits of higher education.

Anyway, while this was going on, a TV in the background was showing the UCLA- Cal State San Bernardino game. A few things worth noting about this one:

-UCLA looks good. Real good. CSSB had something like 15 points at the half. Ben Howland has his boys playin some serious defense, but it's also worth noting that CSSB probably wouldn't beat my intramural team. I also still have a few doubts about whether or not these guys will be able to score with the likes of a UNC, but they're legit title contenders and they're built for the NCAA tournament, make no mistake.

-Got to see the much-hyped debut of Kevin Love. After hearing how he's the next basketball Jesus (thanks ESPN!), I was actually pretty impressed. He seems to be able to score in traffic, and he looked pretty good on the boards (again, consider the opponent). Perhaps the most hyped phase of his game, his Peyton Manning-like outlet passes, actually got him into trouble a few times. Every time Love brings down a defensive board, he's immediately looking down the court and has no qualms about chucking it deep. I think this worked once and the other times he overthrew his man, but I love the idea - he'll burn teams on these a few times a game, especially in a run and gun Pac 10.

-Kevin Love's facial hair. There was a year where Kris Lang attempted to grow the chin strap at UNC, and he looked like a beaver-lumberjack hybrid. Well, K-Love has brought the white-guy chin strap back, and he looks like... well... K-fed. Lose the lame facial hair buddy, you've been hanging out with Lorenzo Matta too much.

-Steve Lavin was announcing the game. The sound wasn't turned up so I didn't get to hear any of his gems, but I did notice them pull one of those borderline-asshole "Hey Steve Lavin, remember how awesome you used to be back when you coached at UCLA, and now you can't land a coaching job? Yeah!" highlight reels, where they then panned back to Lavin and you can tell he's calling producer an asshole under his breath..

-John Wooden looks old. He may be the only coach where everyone knows he blatantly cheated, but he gets a free pass because he's just an all-around great guy who everyone respects. In other words, the complete opposite of Coach K.

-Speaking of cheating, it seems like the Toledo Rockets play every fucking Tuesday night football game on ESPN. People wonder why Toledo got involved in a college gambling problem, and the answer is pretty obvious - they play every Tuesday/Wednesday night game on ESPN. These games are nationally televised. People bet on these games, just because, hey, its a Tuesday night football game. MAC teams and other non-BCS conference teams, fly under the radar a bit as far as NCAA sanctions go, because most of the 5-star recruits who people watch closely go to larger schools where it's much harder to get away with things like this. Thus, these MAC kids are more susceptible to point-shaving or something similar. Needless to say, they were playing Ball State or someone shitty tonight. I didn't pay attention to the score.

-UNC plays Davidson tonight at Bobcats arena. Look forward to seeing how we match up with Stephen Curry, one of the best scoring guards in the country. Which brings us to our Gardocki of the day: Did you know that Stephen Curry is the son of former Virginia Tech star and Charlottte Hornet Dell Curry, who was one of the greatest 3-point shooters to ever play the game? Over/under on how many times they mention this during the game tomorrow? I'd say 15. Seriously.

-NoNo

Fantasy Basketball Sucks.

I mean, really. The last 6 guys to move in free agency in my leaguewere Jason Kapono, Linas Kleiza, Carlos Delfino, Kelenna Azubuike, and Keith Bogans. Those guys wouldn't win a pickup game at Woollen. Nothing says excitement like waking up in the morning to check the old fantasy basketball score just to see "Oh HELL yes, Delfino's got a great matchup against the Warriors!"
I'm just not seein' it.

With fantasy football you get a week to analyze the matchups, talk shit, and legitimately ask yourself if Marshawn Lynch will be able to hold up against that stout Vikings D. Baseball gives a chance for the stat-heads to do their thing. Fantasy Nascar and golf is cool for dads, I guess. And I refuse to acknowledge the NHL unless the Hurricanes are in the Stanley Cup (in which case I'm the biggest damn bandwagon fan you'll ever see).

But fantasy basketball is worthless. I'd much rather bet on which NBA star will be the next person to be arrested outside of a strip club (come onnnn Smush Parker!), or what freak injury will happen next to Grant Hill. Who will be the first to implode on his team this year, Stephen Jackson or Ricky Davis? Things like these make the NBA fun to watch, not worrying about whether or not Reggie Evans shot 40% from the field.

Actually, I'm just fucking jealous since I'm last in my league. Fuck this.

-NoNo

Greatest MNF Game Ever

Somebody's getting fired in the NFL scheduling division Tuesday morning. I don't know how Seattle vs. San Francisco got put on Monday night. That was one of the worst games of the year. Each team played terribly, Seattle just happened to be mediocre as compare to S.F.'s utterly lame. This game had only one chance for greatness -- the Mike Nolan subplot. I honestly thought San Francisco had a chance before the game on that basis alone. I thought all the aura that comes with Monday night, Shaun Alexander's absence, and the Niner's desire to win one for Nolan could combine to override Alex Smith's talent and their defense's ineptitude. I was wrong. Must have been because Nolan went without a suit on a night where he surely should have had one on. In fact, the suits are the only reasons I have any respect for either Nolan or Jack Del Rio.

My night got even worse went I stopped watching that game in order to listen to the end of the Pittsburgh Penguin's game against New Jersey.
Final score: Devils 3 Pens 2. I can't bore you with a lot of hockey talk; I can't watch the games so I can't tell really what we are doing wrong, but I'm guessing it's a lot. Sidney Crosby's point streak is still intact though. It should be something to cheer for once we're winning again. There is still a long way to go in the year, I'll just hope we can turn it around. As long as Mike Lange is doing my play-by-play, I'll continue to listen no matter how bad we are.

Here's today's Gardocki: Did you know that A.J. Hawk is dating [now married to] Brady Quinn's sister? (As they pan to her just being a babe in half Notre Dame/half Buckeyes jersey from the 2006 Fiesta Bowl) R

Gardockis

'Did you know that Chris Gardocki has punted 1,177 times without having one blocked?'

Men who announce football games are, on the whole, retarded. I'm not saying it's an easy job, but after 15 years of watching sports, I know I couldn't hit a baseball or a receiver in stride, but I do feel confident that I could jump into the broadcast booth for Fox and be a sufficient color guy.

Anyway, if you watch enough, you begin to notice that even the best crews only have so much to say. There often isn't actually anything interesting to say, but they are getting paid to speak, so they do. In this case, what we like to call a 'Gardocki' comes into play. One of the most trumpeted stats over the past few years was Chris Gardocki's unblocked punt streak. Every time he did punt, without fail, at least one guy would tell us what number it was, or when Gardocki had entered the league, or some other bull that doesn't really matter. Almost every player has something 'interesting' about them that needs to be brought up once a week. We keep a running tab of the good ones at the house, so we'll post them at our leisure. After all, we do have lives... sort of. R

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Wes Welker on the World Wide Web

Hi there.

This is our first foray into the world of blogging, so we'll see how this goes. We're three college dudes living in Carrboro, NC. It's basically a tiny little communist hippie town in the middle of North Carolina, complete with about 12 burrito places, free farmers' markets, free mass transportation, and a general disdain for personal hygiene. Most importantly, it's the neighbor town to Chapel Hill and the University of North Carolina, where we're students. Right in the middle of ACC country, we're privy to some pretty great live basketball, football (getting there, anyway), and women's field hockey (hooray!). Most of our time is spent in our TV room either drinking, watching sports, or on a real crazy night, drinking AND watching sports.

So, I know what you're thinking - Is that Wes Welker? What in the fuck does that mean? Well, the idea struck Russell and I while we were watching the Celtics lay some rapes in a preseason game when they showed a crowd shot. Junior Seau was pretty easy to recognize, but the average looking white guy next to him? Eh, not so much. Turns out it was everyone's favorite white wide receiver, Wes Welker! Then it occurred to us - would any sports fan really be able to pick this guy out walking down the street? He's awesome, but he's a pretty average guy, just like us. A deeper meaning, bitches.

We've got a location and a title - now who the hell is writing these things?

First up is Russell. He's from Pittsburgh and always wears a backwards hat. If Big Ben and Sidney Crosby somehow had a baby, I'm pretty sure he'd go gay for it. He's also the resident cook, and the current champion of the Red Lobster Neverending Shrimp Eating Contest (tm).

Robert is the house advertising guru and resident emo kid. He likes Joy Division, dark rimmed glasses, and cheap wine from Trader Joe's (but then, who doesn't?). I'm pretty sure he's the one that came up with the "Cabana Boy" nickname for David Carr, so for that we can be eternally grateful.

And I'm Stephen, but I'm going to go by the sweet blog name NoNo. It makes me sound like a fucking badass. I'm a physics major and generally have a pretty dorky outlook on things. If my life were a sitcom, it'd be like that Big Bang Theory show, only without that stupidly hot blonde chick. I also took Utah State to the promised land on NCAA 2008 on Heisman mode. Let's see you assholes do that.

And that's that. Stay tuned for some Pulitzer-worthy sports posts. And perhaps other things, if they're awesome enough.

-NoNo